Break me down
by HeartKnight31320
Summary: Because even the best held masks need to be let down sometimes. Probably just going to be Supernatural one shots now. Mainly involving Dean.


_**Disclaimer: Don't own Supernatural... Dean on the other hand...**_

It was the sound of a guitar which first caught Castiel's attention the sound of a repeated riff so simple- but yet so heartbreaking.

He enters the bar quietly as Micheal walks besides him in a temporary host- it is Castiel's first proper visit to earth in this centuary And the slender, small blonde (sat on the stool with wide green eye's framed by long black eyelashes and strawberry coloured pouty lips which part as Castiel steps into the bar) is his reason. The bar is dimly lit and smells like Alcohol and smoke, the walls are a dark red which the dim lighting makes a deep crimson, so as he looks at the boy on the stage being lit by a stage light, which caused a deep halo making the Seventeen year old look like an angel himself, his disjointed shadow almost like wings thrown on the wall.

Dean Winchester

There have been whispers of his upcoming destiny and he sits with a slight bruise on his jaw- from his father or a hunt, his eye's broken as they pierce the room under their gaze a burning jade he and his mother both inherited from a line so pure that in another life Dean could have been royalty

He sits with the guitar as a sheild and a masked expression his fathers leather jacket a cage around his body and his brother's gifted necklace a choker holding him to his family as his lips open

**"**_**Another day in this carnival of souls another night settles in as quickly as it goes**_

_**The memories are shadows, ink on the page and I can't seem to find my way home**_

_**And it's almost like your heavens trying everything, your heavens trying everything to keep me out." **_

The lyrics so desperate that they broke the angels heart and as he listened, standing outside peering in to the human who's pretty green eye's were closed as he played, pink lips being wetted slightly as his tongue flicks out- he supposes this is a nervous habit but he can't help but find the inperfection endearing to Dean who's lyrics should be blasphemous but just ring of a child desperate for someone _anyone_ to make the pain go away.

His brother has left him with a Father who can't bare to look at him most of the time because of his resembelance to Mary is what Micheal had told him before in his breifing of Dean Winchester, whilst Sam is able to persue his dream Dean- who by all rights should be out there singing to the masses is the quiet sacrifice, staying by his fathers side like the perfect little soldier

**"**_**All the places I've been and things I've seen. **_

_**A million stories that made up a million shattered dreams.**_

_**The faces of people i'll never see again**_

_**And I can't seem to find my way home."**_

Home. Mary Winchester- Castiel's mind supplies him as the delicate human shudders slightly, his beauty shining through the grotty, run down bar which has since fallen silent as the boy began sanging words so full of pain, his aura set alight like an inferno pushing out and burning in it's suprising innocence- its the sort of unbreakable innocence that can never be broken- but it is the sort that attracts the worst sort of pain

_**"'cause it's almost like your heavens trying everything to break me down**_

_**'cause it's almost like your heavens trying everything to keep me out." **_

Dean was crying and Castiel with him, the boy's tears were subtle and hardly noticable as Dean's soul cried out for something, Someone, Anyone to save him, his faith on the verge of shattering and Castiel cries because he can't make it better- he is supposed to be an angel, his wings ruffle and arch out slightly wanting to engulf Dean wanting him to feel the love that the Father has left in his heart with the sole purpose of him sharing it with other- but Dean is so broken _so _broken and lost in a world of darkness and blood to protect a Father who can't even say _I love you_. Though Castiel himself knows that he has never heard his father say that to him, but he still feels it deep down...does Dean?

Because despite the mask the blond haired child placed on Dean was fragile his soul especially was so excruciatingly delicate and as the tear streamed down the man's face he kept strumming Castiel spotted the blood staining the guitar strings, Dean had pressed down so hard he had pierced his skin, but he didn't seem to notice as he opened his mouth again after a complex guitar solo cried out from speakers behind him

_**"Cause it's almost like your heavens trying everything to break me down**_

_**Because it's almost like your heavens trying everything your heavens trying everything to break me down,**_

_**to break me down, to break me down, your heavens trying everything, your heavens trying everything to break me down." **_

Dean finished in a broken whisper as he finished playing and the small crowd who had been silent cheered for him and dumped money in his guitar case and Dean smiled fakely at them seducing them into submission with his prettiness and Micheal growls slightly at this besides him making Castiel remember he is there- he had forgotten

"He is aching brother- how do we fix it?" Castiel asks and Micheal looks at his brother who is so young _so very young_ and sighs

"We don't." Micheal replies and Castiel feels his heart ache as Dean slips off stage, the leather jacket he is wearing engulfing his frame- the people around the bar had him money and he grins at them throwing flirty comments at everyone and everything as his mask hides the pain, his smile fools the world

"_Why?" _Castiel asks and Micheal closes his eye's tiredly

"_For the good of the many Castiel." _Micheal replied cryptically and Castiel looks at Dean

"_We have to sacrifice the one, surely we can give him some faith though- some hope to hang onto." _Castiel whispers and Micheal looks at him softly

"Dean Winchester has already faced the punishment of trying to kill himself from his Father- he will not try again." Micheal say's calmly and Castiel knows he shouldn't answer back but then he meets those eye's again and his heart and soul cries out for Dean

"_Is he right brother? Is heaven trying everything to break that boy down? Will it be easier to set him up for slaughter like a lamb if we take away the minimal self-confidence he already has_...is this our Fathers love? Or can our Father hate the boy?" Castiel asked and he knows that it is toeing the line of blasphemy but he needs to know

"Our Father loves Dean Winchester and the host is not trying to destroy the boy. We don't need to his Father is slowly killing him from the inside out anyway. Dean Winchester is almost a shell, almost incapable of love and emotions except fear and anger and sadness because of his Family- because of the slow break down of his self-worth and the terror he lets rule his mind."

"_But this isn't right_...please Micheal, _I can't- can't let this happen...he is barely Seventeen years old, a Child._" Castiel whispers and his brother looks at him fondly

"_Ever the faithful brother._ The day will come when you will prove that faithfulness- _its written in the stars that you will save Dean Winchester_. He is my true vessel Castiel and you will fix him...but first you must let him break." Micheal says _so we can mold him to fit our purposes_ left unsaid and for that Castiel is grateful but he can't help look at Dean Winchester sadly extending his grace to brush against Dean's neglected soul and feeling it purr in pleasure at the slight affection- Dean's eye's becoming so much clearer for a milisecond full of a strong hope that in later life would defy heaven and hell themselves.

_**-HK-**_

Dean blazes in later years, Castiel thinks it's his father allowing Dean to hunt alone properly that does it- Dean finally is away from his fathers close thumb and Samuel's constant need for Dean's protection- which had cost the elder brother a fair amount of bruises in his time- and Dean is able to emerge from his shell and as Castiel watches as Dean drives in the old car his father had given to him he hears him hum

"_Another day in this carnival of life."_

And he knows that Dean will blaze brighter in years to come- but the darkness is coming, but its alright now- he knows its alright because more than anything Dean Winchester is a fighter

Even if he is a little bit broken.

_**-HK-**_

_**Done. Dusted, this has been in my head since hearing Far from home by Five Finger Death Punch... to be honest I held the image of Dean screaming this into the sky, falling to his knees and looking for an answer- any answer, but it seemed too OOC for Dean.**_

_**Then I imagined him singing it in his room- but that would be too chick flick for him- plus they don't stay anywhere long enough for him to have his own room, the idea of a grotty little backstreet bar being perfect, I can imagine the low lighting around the bar, it would be dim and smell musty, the smell of beer and whisky staining the air and Dean sitting on a slightly raised stage on a low stool with a guitar- perhaps borrowed or his own that John later destroys or something- clutched to him.**_

_**And then I saw a youtube clip of Jensen with a guitar and the image just looks so perfect- Dean enjoys singing you see it enough throughout the series and if he wanted to relieve the stress why not sneak away into a bar where they wouldn't care that he's only Seventeen and sing let out all that anger and pain that he's not allowed to- I imagine- at home. Because Dean's so broken and scarred even before Hell and although Sam keeps a sembelance of faith Dean doesn't believe- can't believe because he won't let himself be so hurt.**_

_**And then I thought- Castiel, I had always wondered why it was Castiel- Micheal would have sent the best to collect his vessel- so does that make Castiel the best?**_

_**I'm thinking of making this a series of oneshots as Teen Wolf's Stiles has caught my attention... **_

_**Well Anyhow I hope you all enjoy my disjointed piece of crap **_

_**Ciao,**_

_**HK**_

_**P.S. For anyone waiting for Chameleon and Flash Days I'm writing them had a complete disaster with my Computer crashing and I had nearly finished both but it's just a matter of finishing them now :)**_


End file.
